 If you have the following signs and
symptoms,
you probably have suffered dental plaque.
The more signs and symptoms you have,
the more severe your dental plaque.
PH
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Wake up at 6am everyday, including weekends. |
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Always
arrive 10 min earlier before the class starts. Never
on time or late. |
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Never skip classes, labs,
seminars, PBL. |
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Take notes while the prof's talking a joke. |
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Frequent complaints of sleeping too much. |
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Complain
too few lecture notes too; the Yellow Pages size would be the best. |
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Full energy and speed; eyes straight ahead; listen attentively, even though the
prof's voice is monotonous and half of the class has already been
hypnotized. |
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Study is more fun than party. Books are more interesting than Survivors
on TV. |
PE
HR 140
bpm
RR 20 bpm
BP 140/90
mmHg
Axillary
temp is normal with periodic spikes
Differential Dx
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BACTERIAL: Energitis
(STD; viagra is countraindicated; state of anergy
can arise from central self-tolerance) |
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VIRAL: Infectious
Academiosis (90% asymptomatic, nevertheless highly
infectious—often with atypical CD8+) |
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FUNGAL:
Studiousidomycosis (aka Diligent Disease—myalgia,
temp spikes, headache, constipation, photophilia) |
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PARASITIC: Book Worm
(fecal-oral transmission AS USUAL!!! Scolex with
zillions of suckers for books!)
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IMMUNOLOGIC: Type V Hyperactivity
(non-delayed type)
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HEREDITARY: Obsessive-Compulsive
Note-Taking Syndrome (multi-factorial with full
penetrance)
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Tx
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Prescribe the 7th generation of antidotes: penicillin X and/or
clindamycin Y—student dentists' favourites. |
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Combination therapy is better than either used alone—prevent
development of "HARDY" or resistant type. |
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High dose is always preferred, although our lectures told us that
doubling a dose will only affect the drug's duration of action
and increase it by just one t½. |
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Deadly high doses may be enforced for multiple relapses, to prevent
further transmission and infection in public health—this is a very sensitive
ethical issue.
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No vaccines. No antivirals. No anti-fugals.
Anti-parasitics currently on trials. IgG too passive.
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Genetic counseling should be encouraged.
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Serology and PCR are helpful. Hemagglutination test is
confusing. Culture (of clones) is definitely
not the way to go for. EIA is
OK, but theory complicado. X-ray remains the best Dx tool from our perspective.
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Our Class Motto:
"Life is Short. Play More."
Trust me.
We have five fervid Social Representatives in our class!
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