YouAlberta
Those cheesy breakup quotes that everyone knows and uses piss me off. The ones about, like, “finding yourself through losing them,” or “if you love somebody you want them to be happy even if that means being happy without you.” I’m not sure about you, but I think they have their time and place — and when you’re crying on the floor because it feels like there’s a hole in your chest is definitely NOT it. They are also seemingly full of crap. The concept of finding yourself because of the loss of someone else is just sad no matter how true it may be, and thinking about someone you love being happy without you is like having someone punch you in the face and you saying thank you. It just hurts and makes no sense.
With my experience, going through heartbreak is like walking through mud… while it’s raining… with steel toed boots. It’s hard to say the absolute least. But some day the rain will lessen, and you will have gained enough muscle that putting one foot in front of the other won’t be as difficult. It’s important to acknowledge that it will always be challenging, it’s still life after all, but it will get easier. That is a breakup quote I like. The classic and cheesiest line of all — “it gets easier.” Because this one can be relevant and helpful at any time. Simply accepting that it gets easier can be helpful and comforting.
I hated it when I first heard it, but now I see the greatness in it. One day easier may be crying in the shower instead of the kitchen floor, or it can be managing to eat three meals instead of one. And then easier will mean running 5 km when you used to be out of breath two minutes in, and the realization that you stopped counting the days since you last spoke to them. Unfortunately, everything can come crashing down full force again, and your easier will go straight back to just meaning getting out of bed. But I like that having it get easier doesn’t have any expectations or limitations, just the promise that it will… get easier.
Even if that changes every day.
I recently had to say goodbye to someone whom I spent a lot of years growing with. I still have my days that seem absolutely unbearable and where the weight seems way too heavy to carry on my own. But then some days I’m able to carry it around with me like a backpack. So, it does get easier. Don’t get me wrong — I’m still walking through that mud and rain while wearing steel toed boots, I still get upset when I hear the quotes about wanting them to be happy even if it means not with you (blah blah blah) and I may be writing these on one of my easier days, but I know this won’t be forever and that my muscles will only get stronger (so to speak.)
The process of healing and grieving is not linear. An important thing to remember is that there will be good days and bad days. If the good doesn’t last — that has to mean the bad doesn’t either.