YouAlberta
When I started classes at the U of A in the fall of 2021, I was one of the few people who had online classes compared to my peers. This limited my interaction with other students and led to me becoming extremely introverted. When I finally started in-person classes in the fall of 2022, the only thing I found harder than solving calculus equations was how to make new friends and, at the same time, try to make the most out of my time at the university. I found myself trapped within the confines of my own comfort zone and struggled to make new relationships.
I preferred books and video games to interacting with real people. Social interactions were a challenge for me and the thought of breaking out of my comfort zone was extremely intimidating to me. I decided against my own self-doubts that no matter what, I had to break out of my comfort zone. I set out an objective for myself that I would sign up for things that forced me to interact more with other people and step outside of my comfort zone.
To that end, I volunteered with both the Engineering Students' Society and the U of A Ambassador program, both roles which required that I interact with lots of unfamiliar faces. I also decided to become a Resident Assistant at Lister Centre in order to play a more active role in my community along with learning from my residents.
The first team meetings were a nervous experience for me. I was too anxious to contribute too much and remember quite vividly that I stuttered —even introducing myself, which was a new thing for me to do. At that moment, I knew that I had to break out of this cycle of isolation that I had imposed upon myself. Over the next month, I started giving out campus tours. This was an experience that was probably one of the most memorable ones I had in my second year; where a grade 8 student had handwritten cards for me and my fellow ambassador, thanking us for taking time to show him what the campus looked like at the U of A. I also started writing for the first time for magazines, trying to share my story with other students. All of these experiences really changed me for the better. I came to realize that there is so much more to being an engineer than being able to use thermodynamic charts and make 3D models. Being an engineer meant playing an active role in society and engaging as many people as possible over things that we are genuinely passionate about. I also became more open to working with new people, did not sweat bullets every time it was my turn to speak at a meeting and was able to make new friends along the way.
Despite my initial success, challenges remained. For one, my social anxiety was still present. Outside of volunteering and work meetings, I did not attend any social events like parties and instead preferred to order a pizza and play video games on my PlayStation. I also really did not want to talk to people in classes for fear that they would think I was being rude or interrupting their studies. As the fall ended and the biting winters for which Edmonton is famous rolled in, I found myself once again isolating from other people and my involvement in work meetings and volunteering once again started to reduce.
My lacklustre grades also contributed to this bout of isolation in part during midterm season. I was the student who in high school always strived for academic excellence, and my midterm grades were a real shock to me as I was not used to getting poor grades. I, therefore, dramatically reduced my social interactions and started studying like there was no tomorrow. As the famous quote goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” I found myself starting to have burnout and reached a point where I was unable to focus on either my studies or my social life and found that they both were lacking.
I once again had to rediscover that having balance in life is key to succeeding, as well as keeping sure that our mental health does not deteriorate. I started to become more involved in my job, took up more volunteering hours and forced myself to attend social events like movie nights with my floor and go out to do stuff that did not involve a calculator.
By the time final exams rolled around, I had once again regained my ability to socialize with other people and, more importantly, regain my self-confidence and realize that getting a perfect score on an exam was not the end all and be all. I had to break out of years of a thought process where academic success was prioritized over having a well-balanced life. Throughout, I had always neglected my mental health and not focused on having a proper social life. The negative effects of these escalated all at once, leading to both poor grades and a lacklustre social life.
If there is anything that could be taken away from my story is that if you ever find yourself in a position where you are afraid to take on a new challenge, just plan properly and take it on anyway. It is when we take on new challenges that we discover our true selves, as well as learn new things that we would not have come across otherwise. I found my love for writing and public speaking by putting myself into situations my introverted self would not have thought possible. In pushing ourselves to do new things, we find our own unique balance, which leads us to be the best possible versions of ourselves. A final quote that comes into my mind is, “Two steps forward and one step backwards is still a step forward.”