From dark roads to bright runways

How personal experiences turned Brianne Kidner into an advocate for preventing child sexual abuse

Yolanda Poffenroth - 11 June 2015

Walking across the Jubilee stage on June 11, BScN degree in hand, Brianne Kidner was able to cross off her childhood goal of becoming a nurse.

"I know it sounds cheesy, but as a child I would always fix up my dolls and care for them, like they were patients," says Kidner, laughing. "Nursing was the only thing that I could think about then, and it's still a passion."

Growing up in Wildwood, about an hour's drive west of Edmonton, Kidner faced adversity on numerous fronts, but is proud of how she was able to create something positive out of her experiences.

"My family owned a sawmill, and it was a very busy childhood, with logging trucks always pulling in and out of the yard. Our entire family lived on the property and my mom and I lived in a Quonset-I called it the smallest house in the world!

The front of the Quonset was a shop and at the very back was a tiny door that led to a small kitchen and living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom. "I'm sure most people thought that our family was very poor, but we were happy and didn't need anything more than each other."

Kidner's future is bright now-as a self-described adrenaline junkie, she says her career goal of being a flight nurse with STARS Air Ambulance is a perfect fit. She knows that fast-paced environment is very physically and emotionally draining, and plans to eventually get into working with children in the area of mental health, specifically children who have been abused.

Down a dark road

"I was sexually abused when I was younger," says Kidner matter-of-factly. "Having the knowledge that I have, I want to make a difference for other children who are going through the same unfortunate experiences."

Many hard years followed Kidner's sexual abuse. She kept the knowledge to herself and started having thoughts of guilt. "I would blame myself over and over again and think, 'Is this my fault?'"

Unseen by most, her grades began dropping and she distanced herself from her family. Kidner held back from telling someone about the abuse, fearing that she wouldn't be believed.

"Most of the time children know their abuser," she says, "and I worried, who are my family going to believe-the adult or the child?"

Several years after the abuse occurred, Kidner came forward to a small group of family and friends. Although she faced some judgment, she considers herself incredibly lucky for the amount of unexpected support she received.

"I was going down a dark road, and they were the ones who picked me up and dusted me off," Kidner says with a smile. "It's because of their support that I've been able to create something positive and meaningful."

Building a support system

A packed schedule filled with school, clinical placements, work and her fiancé hasn't stopped Kidner from dedicating an enormous amount of time toward ensuring that future victims of abuse have access to the resources she didn't.

Since 2013, she has been volunteering and raising funds for Little Warriors, a national organization committed to the awareness, prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse.

Last year she held more than a dozen mini-fundraisers to help realize her dream-a masquerade gala that would benefit Little Warriors. "The theme was 'Unmasking the Myths' because unfortunately, sexual abuse is a taboo topic," says Kidner. "Many people don't admit that it happens, and we need to work to open people's eyes."

The evening of the gala was very emotional for Kidner. "It was hard to stand up in front of the hundreds of people. A few friends and family members were in the audience and they heard my story for the first time."

The event was a success, raising $5,000 for Little Warriors Be Brave Ranch-a treatment centre focused solely on helping children who have been sexually abused, as well as their families. Kidner is planning a second Unmasking the Myths gala, set for November 2015, and hopes to raise $15,000.

Using runways to make inroads

As if that weren't enough, Kidner is using another of her passions to support Little Warriors.

"I'm a country girl-I usually don't wear makeup and I don't do very much with my hair other than a ponytail-but after watching America's Next Top Model I fell in love with modelling and started walking local runways," she says.

She started researching beauty pageants and learned about Miss Universe Canada. The more Kidner read about the organization, the more she thought about competing. In 2012 she applied on a whim and was surprised when she received a call two days later for a phone interview.

"I wasn't ready in any aspect of my life, but I jumped right in and it was an amazing experience. Most people assume pageant girls are ditzy, but Miss Universe Canada is actually a humanitarian pageant and the competitors are extremely successful and driven women who are dedicated to improving their communities."

Instead of having a talent competition, competitors are judged on their ability to raise money and awareness for an organization. The winner of the pageant is able to select a charity of their choice to fundraise and spread awareness, both nationally and internationally.

"Being able to promote Little Warriors and helping to demystify child sexual abuse is a driving force behind my decision to compete a second time."

Kidner is looking forward to the year of preparations for the pageant and is hoping to bring home the crown in May 2016. Even with finishing up school, her plate is still full, but that's exactly how she likes it. She is busy studying for the NCLEX-RN examination, planning her wedding to fiancé Charles and organizing her second fundraising gala.

"My whole life is beginning to come together. I'm sure of myself, I'm confident in life and I know where I'm going. The journey is going to be amazing."