I sit here, in a reflective and unsettled mood tonight. Tomorrow another year of classes begin. At the end of April, I usually say that one goes to bed on April 30th, and wakes up the next morning on Sept 1st. I start my 19th year at the University of Alberta later this month (officially on the 19th, unofficially on the 14th), and the students beginning this year were born in 1984, a year after I started in some cases! Each year brings a new crop of students, eager to learn, at time lost and overwhelmed, having left high school to descend on the second largest campus in Canada (~32,000 students). It's our responsibility to help them cut through the crap and confusion, and make their learning experiences rewarding and fulfilling beyond their university years.
September is always a busy month, this one more so than ever before. In addition to the month in which more of my friends and relatives have birthdays than the other eleven, my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage on Sept 20th. I've been organizing a Sept 21st dinner party from afar (they're in Winnipeg, I'm in Edmonton), with help from some relatives. It's a time for celebration and reflection. Unfortunately, all who might be there won't be, because of other commitments, among other reasons. I'm pleased to be able to do this for my folks, who deserve the best, like anyone's parents. They worked hard to raise my brothers and I, sacrificing and seldom complaining, always loving, always encouraging. Neither finished Grade 12 in Winnipeg when they were kids, but proudly watched their sons all complete university degrees and move on to other things. I can say without reservation that I'm proud to be their son, and to be a member of my extended families on both sides. I have 27 first cousins, and stay in contact with many of them.
The organization of this dinner leaves me with mixed feelings, mostly positive mind you, but there are always issues that are left hanging, some never resolved. I long for times when we can all be at peace with each other, truly love one another, with respect and dignity. I am very grateful that I am close to my parents, who are very kind souls indeed (also quite talented too!). I learned from both of them not to be selfish, to treat others with grace, and to never take advantage of people, especially your friends. (I also learned to change underwear, make my bed, brush my teeth, and take a shower in the morning. Thanks, Mom and Dad!)
There is nothing more one needs to make the world a positive place than respect and dignity for others. My counsellor said to me recently, "resentment is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will get sick or die". I do harbour way too much resentment and anger, and give thanks that I can turn to someone who is objective and pour out my heart to her when I need to do so. We carry many demons for life, some never resolved. I am very emotional at times, which is why I tend to avoid confrontation - I lose my rationality, and tend to react like a cornered animal. I also tend to beat myself up as a result. In the end, I give thanks for the good things around me, too numerous to mention here, and work hard to look forward at all times. I believe my folks' dinner party will be a joyous occasion, and I'm so happy to be a small part of it for them.
If you read this far, God Bless you. Well, God Bless you anyway, because you deserve it. Now, what is important to you?
visits since 07/15/02
